I am 99% sure I came into this world an introvert. Too much time in large groups and too many people I don’t know drains me. And while I spend a lot of time wishing that I were an extroverted, social butterfly — there’s no denying that being an introvert gives you some skills. And my most valuable skill as I’ve become more self-aware and better understood my personal limits is saying no. Here’s ways to say no.
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5 Ways to Say No & the Beauty of It | We’re Experts at Politely Making Excuses.
Being a {mostly reformed…okay attempting to reform} people pleaser and an introvert can be a doozy. But one of the skills that makes it bearable is being able to make excuses and send regards. And oh do we know how to politely say no. We’ll never straight up tell you that we’d rather get a root canal than spend two hours in a room full of people we don’t know but there are other ways that we will {politely} say no.
Introvert tips from a {mostly} reformed people pleaser: Click To TweetRELATED: How to Make it as an Introvert in an Extrovert’s World
- “I have another obligation that I’ve already committed to. Hope XYZ event goes well!” You don’t owe it to people to share your calendar all the time so don’t be ashamed to say no to honor it, even if the obligation is time you’ve blocked off for self reflection and decompressing.
A lot of the time, I find myself wanting to do it all and I have to remind myself that I have the option to do a smaller number of activities well versus saying yes to everything and being a shell of myself the majority of the time.
5 Ways to Say No & the Beauty of It | Acknowledge That You Have Limits!
It’s okay to say you’re busy! While being busy shouldn’t be a badge of honor, it’s ok to admit that your plate is already full.
- “Unfortunately, I’ve already stretched myself thin and am unable to take on anything else at this time.”
Being busy looks different for all of us and shouldn’t be a competition. What one person can balance may look vastly different than what you can take on — and that’s okay.
What one person can balance can be very different than what you can handle & it's ok! Click To TweetRELATED: 4 Captivating Documentaries I Watched Last Month
5 Ways to Say No & the Beauty of It | Don’t Be Afraid to Say Something is Important to You.
Because I’m introverted, I typically block the day after a commitment that pushes me beyond my comfort zone for myself. I’ll still use this day to get work done, run errands, whatever I need to do but I allow myself to recharge by not trying to cram everything into one small window.
- “I’d love to participate/attend but I need to focus on XYZ. [Optional] Please let me know if there’s an alternative way to support this.”
People tend to respect that you’ll have priorities that have to be tended to. Whether that be school, family, personal development, etc. it’s key to say “hey this takes precedence.”
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5 Ways to Say No & the Beauty of It | Just Say No.
Sometimes you don’t want or need to give an explanation and can just say no. Admittedly, this is the toughest one for me because the people pleaser bit of me feels like I owe an explanation often.
- “I can’t.”
I think women especially have a societal expectation to be able to multi-task and to be helpful, polite, and friendly. While we should all strive to be helpful, polite, and friendly, it shouldn’t be at the sake of our own mental or physical health.
It's ok to say no and not provide an explanation. Click To TweetRELATED: Throwing Bows: Pastel Now Tank Blouse for Fall
5 Ways to Say No & the Beauty of It | Suggest an Alternative.
Tying into this, one of the reasons I don’t like to say no is that I worry I’ll hurt someone’s feelings or make them mad. Mostly, I feel this way when I need to say no to loved ones. One of the ways to respect your own limits but still extend an olive branch is to suggest a makeup.
- “I’m not going to be able to help you move this weekend. Would you like help putting together furniture one day after work next week?”
We can say no to friends and family and still find other ways to support them outside of the ask.
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5 Ways to Say No & the Beauty of It | Why Saying No is Beautiful.
Saying no allows me to have time to reset. It lets me value and devote time to the people and responsibilities that I’ve chosen to prioritize. More than anything else, saying no helps me to honor my own mental health and overall wellbeing. Getting older has helped me a lot with growing self aware and understanding my own limits. {I can think of many times as a young adult when my lack of self awareness made my introvert tendencies comes across as rude or antisocial.}
5 Ways to Say No & the Beauty of It | The Outfit.
This Chicwish plaid poncho has been sitting on my garment rack for about a month now. Finally, it’s cool enough to break out sweaters and all my layering pieces. A few weeks ago, I hosted an event at my local J. Crew store and ended the night by picking up this mustard yellow turtleneck. These are great for layering and I love the way the color the yellow in the plaid of this sweater.
These Good American jeans were something I picked up from Evereve and I’m obsessed. The fit is so comfortable and one that actually fits my hips and thighs without any gap at the waist. While they’re definitely more than I typically spend on jeans, I can see myself buying another pair. {Tried on my favorite LOFT denim last night and was shocked at how different they felt in comparison.}
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