Things I’d Like to Never Again See on Dating Apps

Let’s talk dating apps, shall we?  Everyone has an opinion on them, but I’m not here to talk about that. No — today we’ve gathered to talk about all of the things I never want to see on dating apps ever again.  Men, please take notes.  Oh, and I’m also sharing an outfit because that’s one of the things we do around here.

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Things I’d Like to Never Again See on Dating Apps | Yes I’m Black. No, I Don’t Want to Be Your Chocolate Queen.

Okay to be completely honest, I could write a memoir about #DatingWhileBlack, the cultural differences of dating interracially, racial bias in relationships, etc. but today we’re just going to skim and start with a very basic rule of thumb.  Stop fetishizing people on dating apps.  Please.  I -cannot- begin to list out all of the weird shit I hear from white men on dating apps but some highlights include:

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• “Hello my chocolate queen.”
• “Aren’t you just a sweet cup of chocolate pudding?”
• And my personal favorite, “You must have a butt like Nicki Minaj.” {I don’t, for the record.}

It’s weird, it’s unnecessary, and it’s a great way to get me to unmatch you.

Things I’d Like to Never Again See on Dating Apps | The Open Marriage

Listen, I understand that’s its 2019 and as a society we are growing more socially liberal.  Even though I’m old fashioned about some parts of casual dating, I consider myself pretty open minded.  If you’re not hurting anyone and happy, I’m all for it!  However, can we maybe consider making a dating app just for people in open relationships and marriages?  I know — old fashioned of me, but this seems to be a trend that’s becoming WAY more common on dating apps.

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Things I’d Like to Never Again See on Dating Apps | “I’m Kind of a Freak”

^^ Above sub headline is something an actual man said to me on a first date.  While we’re on the topic of being more open minded…perhaps it’s the introvert in me, but talking about sex in your dating profile might be, dare I say, too forward?  You’d think this one would be obvious and yet…

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Things I’d Like to Never Again See on Dating Apps | Everyone Googles Their Dates

My parents instilled the whole, “be scared of strangers” thing into me at a very young age.  {Obviously, I ignored the ‘don’t talk to strangers on the Internet’ portion of that chat.}  Looking up someone you’re meeting for the first time on Facebook, Instagram, and even Google is smart in my opinion.  What’s not smart?  Immediately telling them that you looked them up.  Look, I have many friends that lovingly refer to me as a member of the FBI; I always have screenshots, I can find just about anyone, and I’m always prepared to find dirt.  But like any normal person, if I meet someone that I’ve researched…I act like everything is brand new information.

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I’m well aware that I have a larger than normal social media footprint, but I purposely don’t connect any of my dating apps to my Instagram and blog.  Not long ago, I went on a first date where the guy before even saying hi said, “I was really worried about what to wear today…because I googled you.”  Mildly awkward.  {To be completely fair, my ex-boyfriend admitted to picking up a magazine because I was on the cover, but this was about a month into us dating so…less weird?}  Let’s pretend we don’t know every detail about each other at least for the first date.

Things I’d Like to Never Again See on Dating Apps | Weird Pictures

I don’t mean inappropriate pictures, although I could for sure go the rest of my life without those.  I’m talking WEIRD.  Over the weekend I sent out a distress call to some of my girlfriends because of a dating profile that just had photos of the man holding up spears to the camera with his face covered in warpaint that very well may have been blood.  I’d probably be surprised to find out that this is attractive to some women, but I’d guess most would be freaked out.

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It’s also a running joke among my friends that my type is “lizard men,” because I regularly come across dating profiles of men holding or posing with lizards.  Zero explanation, just lots of komodo dragons.  I’ve talked about networking tips on the blog before, but we should all really think of dating apps as networking sites.  Use a good, well lit, and normal photo of yourself. Please.

Things I’d Like to Never Again See on Dating Apps | The Outfit

Let’s move onto a happier topic — this outfit.  During a recent trip to Gordmans (more coming on that soon!), I spotted this white midi skirt and decided to snag it.  It’s no secret that I adore an a-line skirt and I knew this white skirt would be a piece I could wear a ton this summer.  Here I paired it with a polka dot chambray shirt, but it would also look great with a gingham button down shirt or with a graphic tee tucked in.

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Whites can be tough for me to wear sometimes as they can be a little too see through on my skin tone.  For this skirt, I remedied this by wearing a mini slip underneath.  This is hands down one of my best purchases and so helpful when I wear lighter colored dresses and skirts.

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