I don’t know about you, but life lately has felt nonstop! I’m getting real and talking about setting boundaries in your personal life & sharing a piece that’s been on repeat lately. This affordable sleeveless sweater has that chunky knit look without turning you into a puddle of sweat.
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Affordable Sleeveless Sweater | So You’re a People Pleaser?
Yep. Sometimes, people are surprised by this because I’m not exactly soft-spoken once you get to know me. But, I do want everyone to be happy and am TOTALLY one of those people that will adjust my schedule, comfort level, put things off, go out of my way, etc. to make others happy. We all have faults; mine just happens to be not saying no even when I should.
Think of a time when a friend has taken more than they've given to your relationship. Click To TweetWhile it’s not always a bad thing, sometimes when I wish I could be a little more selfish. You probably can think of a time when a friend has taken more than they’ve given to your relationship. Even when I can clearly recognize this, it’s SO hard for me to say no or even worse, cut someone off. Most of us have been there and truthfully, it’s tough.
Affordable Sleeveless Sweater | How I’m Setting Boundaries {…Slowly}
The first step was admitting that I had a problem. Really. Knowing and accepting my own tendencies has helped in multiple aspects of my life. Once I recognized that I was a people pleaser, I really started to evaluate my behavior with others and how I prioritized. So without further ado, here are some of the ways I’ve set boundaries {and some that I’m still working on}:
I recognized I was a people pleaser & started to evaluate how I prioritized. Click To Tweet- Valuing my own time. One of the things I love about What Nicole Wore being my part time hustle is that I can dictate my own schedule. With my schedule being so free flowing, it can be easy to think, “Oh I’ll help out so and so and then meet my girlfriend and oh wow, someone sent me an email for advice!” I’ve really learned that my time is valuable and since it’s something I can’t buy more of, that I have to pick and choose. What feeds me as a person, what betters me as a businesswoman, what doesn’t do either?
- Learning how to say no. Ok, this is admittedly one that I’m constantly working on and while I’m still really bad at it, I have learned to say, “Not now, but maybe another time.” Baby steps.
- Seek relationships that fuel you. I actually just talked about this with a few of my favorite blogger pals over the weekend. Every relationship should be give and take, so if you notice someone taking up your time and energy but not lifting you up, it’s time to let them go. We don’t always want to see the bad in others, but you have to be able to recognize when you’re being taken advantage of.
- Taking time off, With the nature of blogging and social media, I work every single day. I’m pretty driven so while this doesn’t usually bother me, I do get burnt out from time to time. Recently, my mom told me to go out and I immediately started to list the photos I needed to edit, emails and social media comments I wanted to respond to, social media that needed scheduling, etc. It really took her asking me the last day that I truly “took off,” to realize that sometimes you just need to step away. Lately, I’ve done this by scheduling windows where I’ll catch up on social media comments, direct messages, and emails. If I happen to look at my phone outside of these windows, I try to make sure that I’m just using my phone for personal use — texting friends, watching videos of Fiona the Hippo on Facebook, etc.
- This kind of second “valuing my time,” but I’ve tried to really focus on not devaluing what I do by giving away business advice. I get a ton of emails and DMs about social media and blogging and am reminding myself that what I’ve learned is of value. In more blunt terms, doing someone else’s work for them isn’t going to help me grow personally or professionally.
- Better utilizing my “me time.” This one definitely is my strength, but I’m pretty good about recognizing that time to myself refuels me. While I can’t take the time every single day, I do try to have my quiet time where I read, diffuse my favorite essential oils, listen to music, journal, and so on. I try to make a point to close my laptop and put my phone on silent so that I can really unwind without distractions.
I’d love to hear what you do to draw boundaries in your personal or professional life!
Affordable Sleeveless Sweater | What’s the Skinny on the Outfit?
Now onto the fun stuff! Traditionally, August tends to be when I get bored with my summer clothes. In Louisville, it’s still way too warm to break out fall pieces which is why I’m such a fan of the sleeveless sweater. This cream one has proven SUPER versatile; I’ve enjoyed wearing it this summer with maxi skirts and crops, but also wore it back in the winter with a waterfall cardigan.
This leather, Vera Bradley crossbody purse is a new addition and so welcome too. I knew I wanted a piece in this berry color because of how unique the shade is. While I own a lot of crossbody bags, this one stands out with the bold pink shade.
Lastly, I really can’t say enough good things about these druzy stud earrings from local Kentucky boutique, Adorabelles. While they’re only left in one color, I’m loving the new glitter stud earrings they just added in three colors. Best of all, they’re just $8.50!
SHOP THE POST | AFFORDABLE SLEEVELESS SWEATER
Amen to this girl! I am a people-pleaser, too, and it’s exhausting. I’ve had to step back from posting and social media because my full-time job is draining me lately. It’s all about balance I guess.
Glad you could relate! It’s definitely something that wears me out so I usually have to figure out a way to balance things because I turn into a huge cranky b haha
This is so fun and colorful. So pretty!
Aww thank you Amanda!
I can be a total people-pleaser too, so I can relate girlfriend!
I love this pretty sweater and your fun bag!
xo, Lily
Beauty With Lily
Thanks so much Lily! I love the fun color. Glad to hear I’m not the only one that struggles with being a people pleaser!
I love love love this outfit! It totally looks like something that I would wear. Definitely need to hunt out my sleeveless turtleneck sweaters now 😉
Thank you so much Chrissy!
I can totally be a people pleaser too and had a reality check when I hit my 30’s. Its exhausting and you cant please everyone!!! LOVE that bag!!
This is so true. It wears me out so I think I’ve finally realized I have to reprioritize.
So proud of you for figuring this out! It’s so hard to not please everyone sometimes!
Thank you friend; SO hard but being miserable isn’t worth it either. Always grateful for your advice ❤️
Valuing your time is so important. Especially when you live in a 24/7 social media world. You have to be able to take a step back and realize the world won’t implode if you miss a tweet.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 absolutely! Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Such a great post!! I definitely learned early on I was never a people pleaser haha but seriously, it is exhausting when I do actually try.
Haha I’m glad you’re not! It’s good to put yourself first!
Good post. I have never been a people pleaser per se, but this was good advise on working hard to achieve your goals.
Thank you Tiara!
I never got into the sleeveless sweater trend, but I love the color of this one!
xx,
Amanda || http://www.fortheloveofglitter.com
Aww thanks Amanda! It’s not for everyone!
I”m definitely a people pleaser! I’m loving that bag lady!
x
Missy
http://popofstyle.com
I’m so glad I’m not the only one! Hope you had a great day Missy!
Such a cute look, the bag is so fun!
Thanks so much Madeline, I love this color!
Love the fun colored accessories and that fun wall!
Thanks so much Shira! Hope you had a great Monday!
I love these colors and am totally obsessed with you bag. Such a cute look!
Aww thanks Helen!
Love that sweater and everything in this post is spot on <3
Thanks so much Samantha ❤️❤️
Nicole I have wanted these shoes all freaking summer haha! They are so cute on you! I am also so glad you wrote this post! Learning to say no is so hard but I’m glad your navigating through these feelings. You got this!
Aww thanks so much friend! It definitely isn’t fun feeling like you have to do it all
I am totally a people pleaser too. I’ve been getting better at saying no too but it’s so hard! Also, I’m obsessed with your sweater! I live in Louisiana so it’s definitely not getting cold anytime soon but this is perfect!
Aww so glad you could relate Liz! I’m in Kentucky so while I’m excited for cooler weather, I also know it’s going to be awhile haha.
That sweater is perfect as we begin to transition to fall!
Thanks so much Anna!
You made so many great points in this post! Your time IS valuable. Your knowledge IS valuable. Good for you for setting boundaries!
Thank you Erin! Definitely a good lesson to learn!
Omg non stop! Like I love being busy but I’m exhausted. Loving this sweater on you babe
Fabulous post! Your wise words are so true and important to realize. Plus, I am loving your sweater so much!!
Katherine | http://www.oneswainkycouple.com
Thank you so much Katherine! This sweater has been one of my favorites this summer!
You KNOW my thoughts on this! And you’re getting stronger!!!
Aww thank you friend! Always grateful for your support 💜💜
Making time for yourself is like eating all your veggies. . .so Important! I love that handbag! Visiting from Visible Monday and I will be back to read more. . .
That’s a great metaphor! Self care is definitely so important!